Saturday, 20 May 2017


If you're reading this right now, you have to know that I Love You  for actually taking the time out to open and read this. You'd never know how happy I get when people read my blog posts. You make me feel very useful. You could make this little girl happier by following with your email at the bottom of this page and dropping a comment, you know, leave a part of you behind for me to savor. 

Saturday, 29 April 2017

My life; Your business

Oh, I'm sorry, why don't you tell me how to live my life. I mean I could take notes and all.  Probably take some cues from your life after all you're perfect and seem to know it best.
You know you could draw up a manual that I'll refer to anytime I need direction and counsel.

How comfy do you find it to sit in a group of 2s, 3s or 4s and pick up your surgeon's knife and scissors and dissect the small, big and intricate parts of my life?
I bet you feel like a saint then.  All self-righteous and judgemental.

Why don't you please and please
There's always a second side to a story. That thing you just saw could have a perfectly justifiable explanation.
You do realize that everything, every action, every word of a person has a reason and a cause.
Everything is not black and white.
People have REASONS for their actions, some valid, some not valid
And if they do not have reasons for doing what they do,  then it's THEIR LIFE, THEIR BUSINESS

So she's having sex,  is it your va-jay-jay. No need to look at her scornfully
She had an abortion,  we know it's bad, trust me, she knows. Wahs your own?
She's a party animal and you'll find her at every randy party
Her skirts are always short, cleavage is always out.  She's seducing all the guys and they can't talking about her massive behind.  
She won't stop uploading weed pictures on snap, always popping bottles;
They said she sleeps around, Who said?

He smokes weed and loud.
He never goes to church
He's a YY boy

I always say that there is the place of PERCEPTION AND REALITY. .
What you perceive might be the reality but in most cases, your perception is often far from the reality.

It is not our place to cast the first stone, never has been, never will be
"The vices we scoff at in other people laugh at us within our selves"
 "Let any one who is without sin be the first to throw a stone "

There are three things involved: Are they at peace with their actions? Is their God at peace with them? Is their family at peace with them? Trust me, if they feel good with what they do, their God feels good with them and their family does, then in Patience Jonathan's voice CONTUNNUU.......

Naturally, we tend to have aversions to people who seemingly deviate from our moral compass; our personal understanding of morals and ethics which could stem from our religious beliefs or upbringing.  That is totally understandable.  Even The Saviour dined with tax-collectors and sinners.
There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy, but you, Who are you to judge your neighbor?

Life is so much easier when we all mind our business
Life will be easier when you don't have to deal with  "I heard you said this about me"  or silent enemies who believe you're a rumor peddler. Remember, words are like seeds, once spoken, you cannot take them back.
Let it not be said that it was you who told him that she did this or that.
As a person, I know have too many life issues and things to deal with hence I cannot afford to waste time trying to decide and determine  if a person's actions are right or wrong or if they are upright or not.

Instead of talking about them,  you could just talk to them
Hence,  if you cannot talk to them, please don't talk about them.
Just onlook, pray for them if you can
Let us stop the judgement passing, the slanderous words, gossiping, the backbiting.
Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.
Let there be love in your hearts towards the other
Live at peace with each other and watch you be at peace with yourself.......

Saturday, 22 April 2017

Because He is......

You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intricate plan.
You are a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man

You look like you look for a reason
Our God made no mistake
He knit you together in the womb,
You are just what He wanted  to make

The parents you have were the ones He chose
And no matter how you may feel
They were custom made with God's plan in mind.
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not so easy
And God wept that it hurt you so ;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow

You are who you are for reason,
You've been formed by the master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God.
                                               Russell Kelfer

You are a chosen generation; a peculiar people and this is the hope end the assurance that we have that all things will work together for our good by faith through Christ.
He has carried you since you were born; He has taken care of you from your birth; Even when you're old, He will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray and your back bent; He will take care of you. He made you, He will take care of you most definitely. 

Best believe that everything good will come!!!!!

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Rantings and Ramblings

They do not see what I see. They all look normal. They smile, they chat, they laugh! What is there to laugh about? How can they look so happy when all I see is chaos. It’s like I’m in an endless chasm, where I just keep falling and nothing can ever pull me back up but everyone is going about their lives like I’m not actually dying before their eyes.
I should correct myself, I think I am actually dead but I still seem to be breathing so I must be sort of alive. Why am I such a bad person. Why do I tinge every joyful moment with huge pints of sadness and depression? Why do I refuse to let myself rejoice? Why do I predict misfortune and bad luck for myself all the time?
I think I’m drowning. I can barely breathe at all. I try going through the motions and moving  a step at a time but even that is not working for me. I am thoroughly depressed and all I can think about is how much of a disappointment and disgrace I am to myself and everyone and everything that has ever believed in me.
Do you know the most horrible part about it? I burden everyone around me with this sickness. I barely allow any  enjoyment without showing this depression and sad life.
I love people around me and I love that they are happy. I don’t want to burden them to be sad on my behalf. So I try to hide it all the time.
I think I have become a good actor over time. I always pretend all is well and nothing bothers me and that there is no problem so they would be happy but it seems they see through it sometimes and I’m afraid at a point they wont be able to take it anymore. Its not even a fear anymore, it’s a fact. I think I have lost some people because they don’t want my sad life to poison theirs.
You know sometimes I question the reason why I’m alive. I mean, why is God still keeping me? I know I deserve to die but at the same time I am afraid of hell. The idea of burning forever doesn’t seem like a nice thing but I have heard animals don’t go anywhere. So I wish I was an ant or a mosquito. That way I would die fast and I would go no where. I would just cease to exist. I really want to die. It seems the wrong in this world is just endless.
I guess I’m just seeking a world that is perfect and peaceful. Where I would struggle over nothing and people would just stop lying and hurting me. There is so much I want to say but so much I don’t understand either. I keep looking for answers. I hope I find some someday but for now I would just slip into a melancholic state and forget I exist.

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

My letter to you

I want you to tell me your heart wont wander and your eyes wont roam
I want you to tell me She wont stop looking beautiful to you; and how you wont start comparing her body and skin to another
I need you to tell me the plans you have for that heart she placed in your hands.
Are your plans and thoughts those of good and not of evil like the Lords?
I need you to tell me that you wont get too comfortable with her and start to take her for granted
You wont get bored of her style, thought pattern, cooking, sexual prowess, her words, her gifts.   Need I remind you that boredom is just an illusion.

I hope you wont one day decide you're having a midlife crisis and you need fun, excitement, variety and spice that you have concluded she cannot provide

Tell me that She's safe with you and I don't mean the physical safety
Tell me that her plans, drams, ambitions and goals are safe with you
You wont get intimidated by her progress and try to dominate her; you wont let your pride get in the way of her goals, you will not clip her wings and leave her broken;
Tell me that you wont lead her astray as the head;
Tell me you'll be a true supporter and cheerleader

Tell me her heart is safe with you and you wont break it into a million pieces, even though if you do, She'll fix herself back because She's a fixer

Above all.
Tell me you're not leading her down a dead end; tell me its not just a joke to you and that you'll never be careless or make a fool out of her.
Tell me you'll nurture, love, cherish and respect her till forever.....

Always, forever and a day more....

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Nothing can take my Joy!!

 Happiness is a state of the mind. You have to make a conscious decision to be happy. According to Mrs Tade-Williams (my favorite character in Husbands of Lagos) "you have the key to your own happiness" That's about the most realistic statement ever. We all think that happiness will come when everything falls in place; when you leave school, start working, buy your dream car, marry the bone of your bone, win that multi-million naira contract, six zeroes in your account and all other ephemeral stuff. I hope we all realize that you can come to the realization of your supposed dreams and still feel empty and unhappy. You could be married to the best woman in the world and still not be happy which will lead to some sort of mid-life crisis and going outside your home to find happiness.
This Joy that I have, nothing can take it away not poverty nor lack of money, nor pain or difficulties or challenges. Once the devil can succeed in attacking and taking over your joy, He's winning. The moment you become bitter and grumpy, negativity starts to set in,
Being happy is a decision, being joyful is a decision, deciding not to be sorrowful and sad is a decision, to always have a smile on your face is a decision and its not MY decision, it is YOUR DECISION.

Stop placing conditions on your happiness. When I make this money I'll be happy, When I get married, I'll be happy. Being broke is not the end of the world, being penniless isn't either. That should not turn you into an angry bird. Some people are living in IDP camps, some do not have electricity, many are living without technology, yet they always find reasons to smile.

Try the laughter method.
Tell yourself that nothing can take your smile and laughter away
Tell yourself until you believe it
The moment you believe it, it begins to work for you
Laugh when you don't have money
Laugh when you have money
Laugh when you're in pain
Laugh when you're excited
Laugh instead of crying
Laugh at the big things
Laugh at those tiny little funny things
Laugh instead of worrying about tomorrow
Laugh even when it looks like nothing is working out for you 
Laugh when you're frustrated and confused
Laugh instead of lashing out at that very annoying person
Laugh when your boyfriend/girlfriend is misbehaving
Laugh because recession's got nothing on you
Laugh because you are a winner
Laugh because the devil's got nothing on you
Laugh to strengthen your faith
Laugh because your joy is forever

Laugh the devil to scorn
Laugh the enemy to shame

And when laugh, praise and pray, then sit back and watch everything fall back in place for you.....

Friday, 27 January 2017

A Soldier's Return

You return home five years after leaving for the war. The war is ending; the insurgent’s group is getting weaker and is retreating. You are happy, many of your friends are dead but you are alive. All you carry are battle wounds and those wounds make you nothing but a hero.
You return home after five years of war only to find your door locked with a big padlock signalling abandonment. And you pick up your key under the flowerpot only to enter into an empty house, dusty out of neglect. You want to know where your family went to, so you ask the old woman who lives alone in the house besides yours.

The old woman swears she doesn’t gossip and always man her own business but she can’t help but see the things that happen under her nose. She says she has lived long and seen wondrous things but never has she seen one as wondrous as that of your family. She asks you if you see the lump in the soil in front of your house, she tells you that is where your mother is buried and the smaller lump is where your son’s body lay.

She says it wasn’t long after you left that your mother was diagnosed of chronic cancer, she didn’t have many months to live! She says they tried to call you but it never went through and she suffered and struggled as she battled for her life with the disease.
She tells you she never liked your mother but it will be rude to say something bad of the dead. She tells you your mother made your wife’s life a living hell when she was healthy and it wasn’t until she needed her help in doing everything that she treated her right! She says your mother was nothing short of wicked to your wife but she stayed with her when she became sick, she stayed with her to clean her urine and excreta. A good woman, she calls your wife. She says women like that are not common anymore. She says she would have married the woman to her son if she wasn’t your wife and you aren’t like a son to her.

She describes how your wife cleaned your mother’s urine and faeces when she couldn't leave the bed anymore and you weep because you weren’t there when all these happened.
She tells you your son was coming back from the school one day after your mother died when he was hit by a car. A fine way to die she calls it after all Akilapa’s son was hit by a ne’er do well and he died but your son, he was by a luxury car not commonly seen in the area. She tells you your wife nearly ran mad and tried to call you many times but weren’t available. She asks you where you were then.

You want to tell her that you were fighting for your country, risking your life and the thought of your .mother, wife and son safe at home kept you going because you knew that they wouldn’t suffer. As long as you stayed alive, your salary would always be delivered to them.
You want to tell her you are a warrior to your country and a hero to many you saved but you know she will ask you if you are a hero to your family, the people who needed you the most, so you kept quiet.
She tells you that your wife nearly ran mad trying to save your son. She kept trying to wake him up even the doctor told her that he was dead. She said you will be very disappointed in her because she let your mother and your son die. She tried to kill herself because she wanted to be buried with her son.

The old woman asks where you were for the funerals because all your friends were there.
She tells you of how your wife withdrew from the society lamenting her fate like the bitter woman she had become, the bitter woman you have make her into. She tells you of how she would often pray loudly to God for death so she can forget the pain of losing a child and that was the time she needed you, her husband the most to console her but you were not there.

The old woman talks of how the neighbourhood woke up one night to a woman’s scream and it was your wife being robbed and raped for who makes a better prey than a lonely woman? They didn’t know how many men raped your wife, they couldn't have but she screamed for hours before she stopped and the men were never caught. She says that was the time when your wife lost her sanity finally and she started dressing like a mad woman. She tells you she brought her wedding gown out in the open, tore it and burned it the flames going higher and higher saying a husband who is never around is no husband at all over and over again.
She said your wife spoke like a mad woman and acted like one but always returned to your house, perhaps waiting for you to return home. She stayed there until one day when Alamu came, the carpenter who made all the furniture in your house_ including the bed, and saw her. Alamu who she often said she liked his handiwork and he kept visiting until one day he stopped and your wife was found pregnant. She tells you your wife then sank into depression until she became so violent and suicidal, and then she was taken to the psychiatric hospital.

She then points an accusing finger at you calling you a useless man who cannot save his home. She asks you again where you were when your wife needed a hero and you want to tell her that you were saving many lives and your country too but you didn’t because you know that she will say that a man who cannot save his home cannot save anyone else or his country for that matter.
You return to your home after five years of war, your home in ruins, and an abandoned house. You return to your home after five years with nothing but a gun and a badge, two mounds in the earth, a mad wife and bastard child. You return to your home after five years, a soldier who won a war but lost all!

Oyedunmade Salawudeen